Friday, March 12, 2010

Smile for once

The gap is wider everyday and the more I look at it, the deeper I had gone. I know it’s all entirely out of my strength and abilities. I wish I could clean up it all and can start it all over it again. I really miss falling into ‘that’ again and really miss those feeling. But what can I do? I’m just a hopeless man. Hope is something, the one thing I could only do for now. I wish I could trade all these for just a brief moment and closed my eyes and smiled for a while. I want some moments to just look and appreciate what I had. Even I knew that it would be impossible at all. Life is continuous. No doubt about it. I could just step away and walked the road that I had walked before but no, I am just a stubborn man. I do not know what had gone through my mind. I do not know. This is out of my reach. This is just who I am. Call me whatever you want. Call me crazy or psychopath. Call me fool or arrogant. It is just who I am. 
I really want some moments to just smile and relax and have a happy thought. Even it is just for a mere seconds, I will really appreciate it. I know, I have to go on like this even it will burn inside me. I had come to a resolution before. My eyes always deceived me. My ears always cheated on me. My mind always makes fun out of me. I am clueless. I got stuck for what I had said and done. People said to accept it for whatever it is and just walk and walk. Sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, the things we want the most in our life will just sit there, eagerly waiting for us. We might not know that the things that we had been searching in our whole life are walking as fast as they could to meet us somewhere, sometimes in the past or in the future. I will always look over my shoulder because I know I can never outrun it. But fortunately, I had also achieve total acceptance of we are what we are now. The hearts and minds will always keep playing tricks on me. 
All I want just a smile. A smile that will make my mind go somewhere else. A smile that will keep me remembering all those fun days. A smile that will make the time in my heads stop for a minute. A smile that will make me laugh. A smile that will make me calm like an ocean. A smile that is indescribable. A smile that will haunt my dream. A smile that will keep me strong. A smile that will make me feel like I’m not alone in this world. A smile worth thousands of expressions. A smile that did not belong to me. A smile that is far away out of my hands. A smile that will make my heart melt. I crave for it.


  1. hurm.....very psycho...
    nway....find someone that could give you that smile or you just smile in front of mirror n smile to yourself.... =)

  2. smile..just think about the g0od things n the 0ne u l0ved..u wil smile al0ne~

  3. zu - cermin kat bilik aku kecik jah.tok napok nak senyum.huhu

    taq - doh nie.

    ja - aku tokse smile alone.aku nak smile beramai-ramai


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